Thursday, September 24, 2009
Thoughts in the Kitchen
All throughout my girlhood, all I wanted was to be a grown-up. My dad would always chastise me for "acting like an old woman" and I thrust myself into Bible studies that were far advanced beyond my years. I yearned, I longed to shrug off the chains of childhood and be an adult. Well, somehow it happened. I am all grown up now: been married for 6 years, had a corporate career for 5 years, have 2 boys and a townhouse. I am quite involved in church, have a bazillion friends and want to become active in local politics. Everything I wanted, right? Sigh. Not so much. As I bake cookies, wash dishes and plan tonight's dinner meal, I feel let down. Is this all it's cracked up to be? I worked so hard for 25 years for this?! Right now I would just love to hear my mom say, "Aub, your bedroom is clean and your homework done. Go outside. Go outside and play and don't come back in the house until I call you for dinner!" Ah, those were the days! Challenging boys, pulling wagons, riding my bike, trying to include my little brother in big girl games. Now my life has almost come full circle. The pitter-patter of little feet is constant in my own house. So I take a deep breath and mentally pop my self-absorbed bubble. Standing in my cozy kitchen, rolling out cookies, I ponder what God has in store for me now. All the experiences of my childhood led to just this moment in time. One less experience and I wouldn't be who I am right now. Tears sting my eyes and a lump rises in my throat. A flood of emotions of my parents' sacrifices, a perfect childhood and a childlike faith in the God of universe that I have always sought to discover. If only the future could be as sweet. Oh, Lord! Please let it be as sweet and even sweeter for the 2 angels you have given me.
Click here to listen to a song that helped lift my spirits. It's by my all-time favorite group Avalon and it is a narrative from God to His child. Enjoy!