Thursday, February 11, 2010

Ohne Sahne

Sometimes life comes full circle, like when a loved one passes away the same day a baby is born. Sometimes life sucks, like when your first car is totaled. And then sometimes life is just challenging. I tend to have more of those days than not, but today is a particularly prickly one. Like one of those teddy bear cactus that you swear you didn't touch but somehow you ended up with prickles all up and down your thigh and they are positioned just to the rear, so that you have to have your mom pull them out with tweezers. But I digress...
My sweet, beautiful, Godly, too-good-for-any-man friend and babysitter, Jessie sent me the most wonderful email the other day. She was reflecting on her time watching my boys last weekend and her thoughts on how I must feel some days, stuck inside the house with the boys in the dead of winter. She felt the Lord leading her to share Psalm 77 with me. There, David imparts his God-inspired feelings regarding a challenging day:

7 Will the Lord cast off forever?
And will He be favorable no more?
8 Has His mercy ceased forever?
Has His promise failed forevermore?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? Selah

10 And I said, “This is my anguish;
But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
11 I will remember the works of the LORD;
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
12 I will also meditate on all Your work,
And talk of Your deeds.
13 Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary;
Who is so great a God as our God?
14 You are the God who does wonders;
You have declared Your strength among the peoples.
15 You have with Your arm redeemed Your people,
The sons of Jacob and Joseph.

Oh how I can relate! Up until recently, I would give in to Satan's greatest pleasure and not seek out the Bible when I was stressed or overwhelmed or even sick. I am fed up with memories of years filled with bad attitudes, self-loathing, and faith backsliding. It's time to man-up, take it to the Lord, be reminded of times of blessing, ask forgiveness, and drink in God's mercies. I must remember His mercies are usually non-tangible - a concept difficult for consumer-driven American girls. My boys deserve a joy-filled Mom.
And so, as I finish this post and ponder the feasibility of showering with both sick, clingy boys awake, I glance out the window at the freshly fallen snow, awash in morning sunlight. So is my soul, washed clean every morning by a loving God who abundantly showers blessings.

Life is not always coming up roses

But in the absence of certain things, we can find enjoyment in the unexpected (like when you have no hazelnut creamer left, whole milk doesn't do the trick, your hubbie has taken your suv with the carseats to work, and you are forced to scrounge the fridge door for homemade mocha ingredients)

"My cup overflows with blessings." ~Psalm 23

P.S. Who else can boast of such a wonderful babysitter, who is working on her masters degree?! No, my dear mommy-friends, you cannot have her!

For historical reference, here is the little blurb I wrote about how this day was going:
I am NOT a morning person. I made a shirt that said just that when I was 10. I graciously let Aiden stay up until almost 9pm last night so he and I could play outside in the snow. He was at my bedside at 7:12am. Not cool. I always make my boys stay in bed until 8:00. It's just my thing and fellow moms have reassured me this is normal and quite acceptable. I had just gotten the covers warm again after changing Ashton's wet pee-pee clothes and getting him back to sleep. (That's not to mention the other 3 times he woke up and wanted to be nursed between midnight and 5 am). Aiden's 3 year old stubbornness reared its ugly head and he fought going back to bed and then sat there hum-yelling. Ashton caught ear of this (I don't know how the whole neighborhood didn't!) and retorts back with one of his "screaming as if being kidnapped" tirades. And speaking of neighborhood, there is jackhammering going on 2 doors down. And I am having coffee with whole milk, still no creamer. Good news: I'm going out by myself this afternoon! Bad news: it's to the obgyn. Lord, please be gracious to me today!