Mom4God: A Lesson in Jeans

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Lesson in Jeans

Today I have come to the conclusion that if you have to lie down on the bed in order to zip up your jeans, then they are too small, and should be given away to someone who will actually fit into them. (Even if you DID just purchase said pair of jeans less than 6 months ago!)

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My Colon: oscopies

Get down on one knee: and Tebow!
Life in New York: sitting at a parenting seminar at church last night: someone mentions to the pastor that the Giants won their playoff game - crowd errupts in applause. As clapping dies down, someone off-handedly comments, "The Broncos aren't doing bad either. They were winning when we left the house." I throw my hands up and exclaim: "Praise the Lord!!!"
About once a year, my culinary expertise fails at suppertime: last night it was meatloaf. Even the dog was leery.
Yup: the newest Mission Impossible movie rocks, especially in a RPX theatre!
I'm becoming obsessed with the closest store to my house: a glorified dollar store that has everything I want, like Downy with all-Spanish labels or baby wipes with coupons in Euro!
You should try doing most things with your left hand: I do it all day long!
Worst thing: hitting existing scabbed-over boo-boo's on fingers and making them bleed again.
Triumph: brushing my teeth by 5pm!
I have somehow unconsciously duped my children into thinking vacuuming the house is an earned privilege: they are on rotating morning/afternoon turns
I can’t make apple pie: I don’t have any vanilla ice cream
I boycotted laundry yesterday due to the burden it brings into my daily life: today I have 5 massive loads staring up at me from the basement floor
Question of the week: is there anti-tantrum syrup out there approved for children under 4?
Impossible task complete: dressing a grabbing, wiggling, screaming 2 month old
The unexpecteds in a day: the 2 yr old flipping out over me setting his juice cup in the sink

Motherhood Elements

Broke the garbage disposal when I ran it ... not knowing there was a marble in it
How is my oldest almost 5?! I'm getting old!
Finding a dump truck in the food pantry
While vacuuming, finding a giant elephant puzzle under the living room carpet. Isn't that an odd spin on an old saying?
Little boys have such stained clothes
While folding laundry, I exclaimed, "Yay! The poo came out of the little underwear!"
The sweetest thing I heard all day: "Mommy, I need love"
Raiding the boys' Halloween buckets for 3 Musketeers before setting off to the task of bathing the boys
Having a great blogging idea and forgetting it by the time I actually make it to the computer
Having to decide which art projects to throw out & which to save
Opening play-doh containers for the 5th time today
Making pb&j sandwiches on plastic, cartoon-character plates

Boy Conversations

Aiden: "Oh. Mom. My eye hurts. There's muffin crumbs in it."

We're a pro-2nd Amendment kind of family:
Ashton: "Mowm. Is mwy gwun weady?"
Me: "Yep. your nerf gun is cocked and chambered. All ready for you to shoot at the glass sliding door!"

Me: "Aiden, what happened to your nose? It's red and scraped underneath it."
Aiden: "Ashton hit me with a baby toy. I wasn't letting him in the tent so he hurt me."
Me: "Oh. Does it hurt?"
Aiden: "No."
Me: "Ok."
Aiden ran off to go play again and prevent his little brother from participating in the fun.

"Aiden! Stwop cwoughin. I'm twyin ta wissen to da cwock!"
"I can't stop coughing Ashton. I can't."

"Mom, look at this dump truck. It's driving slowly because it's spreading salt on the road." (Andrea, another thing your kids would probably stare at in utter amazement, just like the fireplace!)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Lesson in Jeans

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